I absolutely love stuff like this.....informative in the most unexpected ways. Not that I wouldn't eat the thing if I caught it, but that would depend on how well it fried up.
You know what im sick of being canadian and polite to respect other peoples feelings ive never showed any1 here anything but respect so here we go FUCK YOU qlanettint you spineless zit faced goof with 1/10th scale replica of a mans penis between your legs if your offended have me removed to be honest with ya i couldnt give a fuck so qlanet and all you other imposters GO FUCK YOURSELF
This (don't ask me why) reminded me of a idle conversation I had with a colleague of mine; he asked, quite out of the blue, "If you had your choice of which classic, fictional 'monster' you can become....which one would it be?" That was a good time-waster-type question, I thought. So I said, "I dunno. But one thing's for sure: it would NOT be a werewolf...so I'd have to go with vampire".
"Why's that?", he asked.
"Well", I says, "for one thing if I was the latter, I could make many, many more like ME; create a whole army, so to speak (except for making guys, that is: I'd turn the women first, and let THEM turn the guys); have super-strength, be able to hypnotize, stay on a stringent liquid diet, never grow old, and the best part is that I get to dress up in a fancy-shmancy tuxedo and cape. Whereas being a werewolf, I'd be doomed to have sloppy eating habits, get fleas and ticks, go through a pain-in-the-ass transformation, STILL grow old, have ragged fingernails and worst of all....I'd have lift one leg up to pee. Total bullshit. No way. Screw THAT."
"Hold on", he says. "Think about this: if you're a vampire, you can't go out into the sun 'cuz you gotta sleep in a damn casket all day long, EVERY DAY, for eternity and you'd be MOST vulnerable at that point; you can't comb your hair because you cast no refelction in a mirror; you can't celebrate Christmas or Easter because there's too many pesky crosses around; you can't enter someone's house (friend or foe) unless invited FIRST, so forget about crashing some Hot Babes' Slumber Party; and if you are so much as NEAR anyone adding garlic to their pasta sauce or pizza....you'll heave your decayed guts out. But as a werewolf? Think about this: you only have to go through that shit ONCE A MONTH! That's it. The rest of the time....you're 'normal'. You just have to avoid anything that's silver, that's a it. You can carry on and have a life. Once a month."
I thought about that. Then I suddenly thought of a the ex-wife of a mutual friend of ours.
"You mean", I asked, ".......it'd be kinda like having a...a...ahhhh...ummm...menstrual cycle?"
"Well", he says, ".....ummmm....yeah. Sorta."
I think some more on it. We both go quiet.
"Nope", I finally says. "I'll go with being a suck-head, thanks."
C- Based on the newest versions of vampires, who wouldn't want to be one. There seems to be no downside except being eternally racked by youthful angst. Its just boy band members that live forever, and is the penultimate in lame.
I liked the old vile versions better, before they were redesigned by Hollywood. To make a good Dracula movie, nobody would be glamorized, worshiped, or smell good, and it would have the same mood as the Exorcist, but more gritty. Hollywood has cut the very heart out of this genre.
Whats next, a Hip crime stopping Frankenstein monster solving crimes in Vegas, played by Keanu Reeves...
I think the road to silliness with this genre really started with an author, Anne Rice, when she wrote "Interview With The Vampire" which subsequently lead to the Brad Pitt movie version. This was an revampiong (no pun intended) of this mythical creature; suddenly he is now a foppish, over-dressed buffoon, witha penchant for subtle homosexuality-laced overtones. That was the beginning of the end, as far as I'm concerned.
Personally, I think one of the scariest vampire flicks arouind, that still withstands the test of time is "The Night Stalker" original TV movie, with Darren McGavin playing reporter Carl Kolchak. It had a great element of terror, horror and suspense, and best of all........the 'vampire' was downright menacing.
But nowadays?
It's all geared towards the dumbed-down, text-message-loving, CGI-worshipping kiddie crowd.
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