glumbert - The Dark Bailout

Hey hey hey!
This clip reminds me of the time I auditioned for a role in "Goodfellas", the gangster movie starring Al Pacino and Jo di Maggio. It was directed by some Italian guy whose just made a film about the Beatles, but I can't remember his name. (Not like me, cos I've a great memory for detail as you'll know.)
Anyway, I went for the part of "Sally", a huge transvestite Mafioso cafe owner who didn't have much to say, but always looked menacing. I went on a strict diet and put on more than 100 pounds so that I'd look right. Jeeeeez! I never ate so much. Fifteen pizzas and 40 milk shakes every day for a month. But I have to say it worked, because when I turned up for the screen test, everybody on the lot just gasped in amazement.
The producer said he'd never seen such a physical specimen!
Oh, and I cut myself on the cheek with a switch blade just to complete the effect. It was fucking painful, but I'm a great believer in suffering for my art.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, I didn't get the part, and here's why.
Just as I was about to read, the stage collapsed underneath me and I ended up wit just my head sticking up thru the boards. I carried on reading, as any real thespian would, but I think some of the menacing effect of the lines was lost.
After security managed to get me out of the hole, they threw me out and told me never to come back to MGM again or they'd cut my balls off. It turned out the producer saw all this and gave the part to one of the security men. Wouldn't you know it!
Fuck it! The movie was overrated anyway and the music was shit. I much preferred "The Godfather".

canuck1963

2 months ago

LOL!

I hope you know that since my next stage production opens up for a two-week run, starting this Thursday, that I fully intend on plagiarizing some of this material.

LOLOLOLOL!!!!

mitercut

1 month ago

Hey C, what's the next production about? (with fear of giving bait the the master baiters here)

gymyg

1 month ago

canvck, you should have read for the part of the bullet holes, not alot of script but still a well rounded part.

canuck1963

1 month ago

Well, Miter-ol'-lad, some of our Brit friends hereabouts may identify with this:

It's a British farce, written by Ray Cooney, and I play....ahem...a cop. A London bobby, to be exact, complete with a cockney accent. They actually got me an AUTHENTIC bobby's pith helmet! The rest of my uniform is assembled, and ready to go. Shit, you could plop me right into the middle of the Whitechapel District, and I bet ya I'd blend right in. I'm outfitted the exact same way, as Simon Pegg in that movie "Hot Fuzz".

Anyways, it's a hilarious comedy, and this week will be busy, busy, BUSY!

Opening night is in T-minus 72 hours, and counting.

shaina

1 month ago

EASY EARN MONEY...JUST VISIT MY SITE...THANKS...

http://get-pc-money.blogspot.com

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