glumbert - The Taser Chair Prank

You know, I was just randomly thinking, it would be nice if they ran the clips of terrorists on the evening news a bit longer, so we could see what happened when all those AK-47 rounds were introduced to gravity, and came back down for a visit..

sinkingboat69

2 months ago

I have that exact same chair. And youporn.com doesnt even do THAT to me!!! And a 21" monitor like him as well. Lucky bastard!!!

wiccanmartyr

2 months ago

I knew it! Pervert.

obxsurfergirl

2 months ago

I knew it too ;)

arseface

2 months ago

Drivel.

canvck1963

2 months ago

Hey hey hey!
This clip reminds me of the time I auditioned for a part in "The Green Mile", a film about death row starring Tom Cruise and a whole bunch of other guys whose names I can't remember.
It was a pretty successful movie, even though the idea that a big black man could spew bees out of his mouth and cure illnesses was a bit hard to swallow.
Anyway, I was to test for the role of one of the wardens - the nast one whose dad has lots of power and who likes to torture the inmates. I tried my hardest to get into character by beating up my nephew every night, but he just laughed and said being beaten up by a Canadian was a bit like being savaged by a dead sheep. I practised my best evil sneer and all that sort of stuff too.
When it came to my turn to audition, I did my Jimmy Cagney impersonation - "Top of the world ma, top of the world! You dirty rat," etc etc.
The producer said I looked and sounded like a faggot and asked why I was wasting his time.
I said it was method acting, but he just called security and they threw me off the lot.
Fuck it! Daed Man Walking was a much better movie, and I think Susan Sarazen is a real MILF.

canuck1963

2 months ago

1. It starred Tom "Hanks", and not Tom "Cruise".

2. It's Susan "Sarandon", and not "Sarazen".

3. Thank you for using the description "black man", instead of the "N" word (although you again lost some points on your homophobic slur of "faggot").

4. "Method acting" is a no-no when one is at the auditioning stage; that's to be used later in production, when one is fine-tuning one's role (and pending the directors vision for the character).

5. "ONE of the wardens"? A prison only has ONE warden (or 'superintendent', the title depending on the facility).

All-in-all......a good attempt at recovery.

Just do a little more reading to get a better sense of background, and you've got the makings of a fine anecdote there.

Six out of ten.

gymyg

2 months ago

that's what makes his story, wrong names, etc,.

canuck1963

2 months ago

Actually, Gym, I posted my thoughts on this down below.

chaz

2 months ago

Comment to Canvck.....change your id......but never change your input....best ever on this sometimes interest-starved site.

Comment to Canuck....just stop it. Many wish he'd change his id, but for god sakes, man, your inane critiques do you no favors.

canuck1963

2 months ago

See?

Now there you go, proving my point from earlier.

All I was doing was engaging his particular wit with my own....and I have failed to get that across. So, it's now "the pitcher" (me) who has failed in that regard.

Goddamn it....can ANYTHING go right today???

LOL!

podman

2 months ago

Cheaper than a lap dance; so why is he complaining: http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2008/sep/29/stuart-man-clams-five-women---four-wearing-suspend/

gymyg

2 months ago

lap dancing is not robbery

podman

2 months ago

Bush falls to 27% : http://news.aol.com/article/bushs-approval-rating-drops-to-new-low/195429

canuck1963

2 months ago

Gee, go figure.

canvck1963

2 months ago

Hey hey hey!

Canuck - thanks for pointing out my silly "errors". Gee, I could have sworn I had a fantastic memory just like yours! If you look at my previous posts, I'm sure you'll find they're littered with similar "mistakes".
Jeesh - I feel so stupid, and here was me thinking it was just irony. Maybe we Canadians shouldn't try that, cos we just ain't smart enough!

Your correction of my story reminds me of the time I auditioned for a role in an obscure National Film Board of Canada sort called "The Man Who Couldn't See a Joke When it Jumped Up and Slapped Him in the Face".
I didn't get the part, but I'm sure if you had tried out, you'd have been a cert for it.
Regards.

gymyg

2 months ago

just keep the wonderful stories coming, details are over rated.

canuck1963

2 months ago

See?

Now there you go, getting nasty again.

And you were doing SO well.

Why must you insist on blaming the catcher (me).......instead of the pitcher (you)?

Perhaps a more logical approach would be to re-evaluate your attempts at "ironic humor/satire"....yes?

The point being, is that for a story to be "funny", it has to be based on at least a SMIDGEON of accuracy; because the more "accuracy" it has in it, then the funnier it is, and thus enhancing the humorous/satirical point it was trying to make in the first place.....yes?

And, yes, my memory is pretty good (well, REAL good, actually).

And there you go again, with slandering a whole nation/peoples!! (......"Maybe we Canadians shouldn't try that, cos we just ain't smart enough!).

Like.....what is it with the concept of bigotry, that you just can't resist? I don't undertsand. Look, if you you can pick out ONE....just ONE....instance, where in my MILLIONS of posts around here, where I've generalized ALL Americans into one, tidy pot when I'm pissed off, ranting or raving or whatever.....shit, I'll happily wear the crown of 'hypocrite', and never show my face around here again.

But folks like yourself? I dunno. That always seems to be the first recourse.

Anyhow, this ends your Creative Writing pointers for today.

Looking forward to your next offering.

canuck1963

2 months ago

"details are overrated?

Possibly.

I know that Edward D. Wood Jr. thought so.

lol!

chaz

2 months ago

canvck1963

2 months ago

Hey hey hey!

Hearing from you, gym, reminds me of the time I auditioned for a part in the marvellous sweeping epic "A River Runs Up It", starring Leonardo di Caprio and some other guy as a pair of brothers who do lots of fishing. Well, there was a bit more to it than that - American Dream, death, fraternal rivalry, all that sort of stuff - but basically it was about a guy who could put a dry fly on a sixpence at 30 metres while standing up to his waist in a fast flowing river.
I tried for the lead role cos I'd done a bit of fly fishing in Ontario when I was younger and once caught a trout. I even went for casting lessons for a few weeks before the screen test so I'd be able to impress the producer.
Well, turned out they weren't interested in that. They wanted somebody who could look moody and act.
So I didn't get the part.
Fuck it! It was a crap movie anyway. The Poseidon Adventure was much better.

canuck1963

2 months ago

Now THAT...was funny!

Seriously!

Better.....better....MUCH better!

canuck1963

2 months ago

And yes...."The Poseidon Adventure" WAS a movie I enjoyed, actually (although the re-make was horrendous).

canuck1963

2 months ago

Small point of curiosity here, on my part:

How come you're insightful enough to mention great trout-fishing in Ontario.....but you commit a faux pas like saying that we have a "President", instead of a "Prime Minister"?

Explain, please.

(And yes...I LIKE details).

canuck1963

2 months ago

Plus, a little while back in one of my posts, I referred to you as "pathetic scum".

I withdraw that comment. Just being flippant.

I shall mail you a pair of tickets, to my next opus as compensation.

(no heckling....as you WILL be dealt with, by my security detail)

wiccanmartyr

2 months ago

Canuck, he could know about the fishing conditions. (something I was also aware of, and I'm one of those "trigger-happy" Americans.)
But still retain the ability to use that one bit about the Prime Minister as a joke.

canvck1963

2 months ago

I look forward to receiving the tickets.
Talking of tickets, that reminds me of the time I auditioned for a part in the wonderful "Glengarry Glencampbell", starring Al Serpico, Elisha Wood, Jack Lemmon, Stanley Baldwin and a few other greats. It was about real estate salesmen who swear a lot and drink coffee. Some people say it's the best movie ever made, but there wasn't much action in it, just a load of shouting. (I like a good car chase myself).
Anyways, I wanted the Al Serpico role - the character is real streetwise and a top dog seller. So I got a job selling carpet shampoo door-to-door for a few weeks to get into character. I actually made quite a lot of money, which was just as well, cos I didn't get the part. The producer said my acting "lacked credibility".
Fuck him! Die Hard was a much better movie.

canuck1963

2 months ago

JEEEEEZZZZ!!!!

Can I get ONE lousy story where I not ONLY get a FREAKING PART, but some kind of award for it?????

Like......c'mon...NO ONE can be THAT bad!!!

Fuck sakes.

canuck1963

2 months ago

(At this point, I'll even be happy even if you have me playing the chalk-line drawn around the dead body on the pavement!)

podman

2 months ago

Now that's funny banter. LOL

chaz

2 months ago

Here's the deal, Canuck........IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU !

Canvck - PLEEEEZE change your id so Mr. "C" no longer identifies with your creative imagination.

canuck1963

2 months ago

It's NOT about me????

Are you kidding me, Professor???

No....really....you're kidding....right?

"Not"....about me???

wiccanmartyr

2 months ago

Yet again, my head hurts...

canadaman

2 months ago

canucky less is more. Take a deep breath,weeee all know how you think about everything and you got a medal etc,etc,etc,

canuck1963

2 months ago

How'd YOU know I gots me a medal?

I didn't say anything about it.

Nope.

Not me.

That would be crass and boorish.

bugs

2 months ago

Why do these fat blokes always wear baseball caps?

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