I am an old fool! I mentioned some names on ze blog, but I should also haf included Herr Ranger, Herr Arseface, Herr Planettint, Herr Surferbum, Herr Clevelandmudslide, Herr Chaz, Herr Billboat und many ozzers. In fact - all ze Glumbert community are velcome to visit.
Who knows? Von day I may be able to sell ze blog to Herr Gates for $50 billion und begin vonce more to breed armadilloes!
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH :
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it, and will remain against it.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL :
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side' . That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace....
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@
Mein new blog www.adolfvanker.com is hafing, how do you say?, toothing problems.
But Mrs Pumpernickel's charming daughter is vorking hard to help me understand how to include photographs of me in mein uniform. I hope zey vill not be too scary! She says she is lonely, und has offered to vork on mein site at night. I suspect she - like her mutter - may be ein bit of ein vixen! Von never knows von's luck!
Last night, ze coyotes of Chugwater vere singing like demons. I sink zey know it has been Super Douper Tuesday! Mrs Pumpernickel says ze coyotes outnumber ze humans by five to one - not ein comforting thought, particularly if zey run out of gophers und skvirrels to eat.
Ach, I miss mein armadilloes. Zey vere alvays kviet at night. Und now - now zey are soup und sausages in ein Buenos Aires cafeteria. But, as ze owl vith the sore neck says - "Never look back".
I vonder if zere is ein future in coyote accessories..........
Sheriff Kongeriel is ze most important man in Chugwater. His vord is law und he tells me he "don't stand for no sheise from no-one". Zis I believe. He looks like ein cross betveen Goering und Herr Michael Moore, ze vell known humorist und fat man. Ze sheriff has ein huge gun vich he carries in his car und vich he says is loaded vith buckshot und molasses.
He tells me: "It's the only way I can make charges stick round here Mr Vanker!"
I sink zis is ein little joke, but I am not sure, so I had better keep kviet until I know him better.
Tonight on mein vebsite I vill be posting some amusing Vestphalian jokes. Do not all rush....
adolf, enjoyed your blog, would have left you a comment but, one more thing to sign-up and one more password is beyong my old mind. I will check it under favs. Nice work.
The man who sheweth his loins to another
Will burn forever in the fires of Hell.
For a man's loins are private unto himself
And must be always covered.
The man who removeth his vestments
Before a woman is the lowest of the low.
He knoweth not the damage that he does
And will be cursed for all eternity.
fucking flashers
when I hear loins and fire in the same breath, it always reminds me of the redneck bar-b-que's of past 4th of July celebrations... how I long for those warm summer nights!!
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