TV Anchor 101: Expand Your Vocabulary

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Views:48,346
2 years ago
Who's your daddy.
2 years ago
wtf
2 years ago
I'm sure she already does. How do you think she got that gig?
2 years ago
mmmmmmmmmmmmmuff.........comon just tell her what her muff is.....
2 years ago
Anyone think she shaves off her muff?
2 years ago
Dunno, the sound was too muffled for me to pick that up.

And it didn't seem cold enough in there for her to be wearing one.
2 years ago
With the dull intelligence she exhibits here, she's destined to earn $50 million/year like Katie Couric.
2 years ago
Now why didn't he tell her? I guess he wasn't ready to "dive" in to that one!
2 years ago
Dear Lord, I pray that my girlfriend be shaved.
2 years ago
I like shaved, don't like to eat
2 years ago
and floss at the same time.
2 years ago
Bah! She could have shaved her muff live and still no one would have watched this crapfest...it's the kind of TV businesses put on when you're waiting to get your tires rotated and that semi-sober sh*tass next to the broken M
2 years ago
-
2 years ago
Glumbert don't like me rant. :(
2 years ago
Notice how she continues displaying that shit-eating perma-smile, even though she knows she may have committed some kind of faux pas?

Rule #8: NEVER trust anyone who smiles a lot.

Ever.
2 years ago
Now I know where I've gone wrong! Breaking #8...what's the # 1 rule?
2 years ago
Rule #1:

Never.....BUT NEVER......get out of the goddamn boat.

(Bonus points to whomever can tell me from what movie that quote comes from)

(Red Wings are great)
2 years ago
That would be Apocalypse Now.

"Fucking Tiger man! I just wanna be a goddamn cook!"
2 years ago
Chef! played by Frederick Forrest.

Met him in New mexico years ago! Sold him a Ruger 22 Black Hawk single action six, saddle bags and some other stuff. He would come around regular and we would talk about shit.

Was getting married to an Indian girl , Oh ya sold him an old tux w/ tails also.
2 years ago
And I almost forgot the most important thing!

Chumpchimp is an IDIOT!!LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2 years ago
Good job Podster and Randy-Man!

Totally correct on both counts.

Listen: I just had an idea now, looking at this, and tell me what you guys think. Remember in "Apocalypse Now" how Capt. Willard (Martin Sheen) does a voice-over intro of all the guys on the boat, when he first meets them? Well, here's how I envisioned it applying to some of us here on Glumbert:

(as narrated by Capt. Usedouchebag):

"I was being ferried up the coast in a Navy PBR, a type of plastic patrol boat. The crew were mostly just kids; rock-'n-rollers, with one foot in their graves. The machinist, the one they called "Randal", was from New Jersey, and looked wrapped too tight for Vietnam; probably even wrapped too tight for New Jersey. Podman, on the forward .50's, was a famous software engineer from the beaches along New England; too look at him, you'd never believe he'd ever fired a weapon in his life. Canuck...."MR. Canuck"....was from some frozen shithole in the northern territories, and I think the light and space of Vietnam really put the zap on his head. Then there was Mako; it might have been my mission....but it sure as shit was Mako's boat."

(scene cuts to Capt. Usedouchebag pulling out an 8x10 glossy, from a manila folder, showing a picture of a man in uniform; narration continues):

"I'd heard Col. Adolph E. Vankers voice on the tape, and it really put the hook in me; as I looked at his dossier, I couldn't believe they wanted this man dead: graduated top of his class at Panzer School; about a thousand decorations. He tried to get into Airborne Training at Rikshtoffenstein Training School, attached to the Luftwaffe; he applied three times, and put of with a ton of shit, but when he threatened to hand in his Iron Cross, they gave it to him. Airborne?? He was 38 years old. Why the fuck would he do that?

October....he returns to the Eintzkommando Regiment....returns to Vietnam.

LOL!

What ya think?
2 years ago
Red Wings are great
2 years ago
R - That's just amazing! I loved it. LOL!
2 years ago
R- ya know what is also good. You and I are the only ones who are going to survive, as per the outcome of the movie. Now I want to see it again.

So who is the first guy they sent to assassinate Kurtz, and was standing there brainwashed when they got to the camp?
2 years ago
Capt. Richard Colby (as played in a silent-on-camera role, by Scott Glen).

AND STOP POSTING YOUR RESPONSES TO RANDAL!! LOL!!

I'M the one who wrote thqat little ditty, dammit!

LOL!!
2 years ago
Red Wings are great
2 years ago
Could have been close, but since Randal was in the story I have to make a change to the story.

"The machinist, the one they called "Randal", was from New..." WTF? Not Randalflagg! Who let that fuckin' nutjob out of the stockade? *Looks around* Any of you! Answer me damnit! *No answers* *All fingers point to Miter*

*Miter is the man that mans the secondary outboard motor as the only two fingers on his right hand give him a perfect grip on the handle. Miter doesn't like to talk about his horiffic and disfiguring accident due to a flex-o-ladder collapsing on him while using a circular saw to cut overhanging tree branches on his house. (A fucking circular saw? Don't ask!) *

Douchebag: Miter, why did you let him out?
Miter: *looks defiantly at douche because douche repeatedly teases him about his crab claw*
Douchebag: No matter I will handle

*Douche runs to the front .50, knocking Pod into the shit infested water. Takes the .50 cal off its turret. Points it at Randal* Get the fuck off the boat!

Randal: But its filth infested waters. What do you.....
Douche: I am the one with the gun. Dance Mother Fucker Dance! *Rat a tat tat tat* *Fires about 15 rounds into the floor of the boat at Randal's feet*

*Randal dances like a fairy to prevent bullet wounds to the feet*

Douche: Now look what the fuck you did Randal. We have 15 bullet holes in the boat and we're sinking fast.

**screen fades to black**

*unknow narrator's voice takes over* That was the last time Tiger Initiative Team or The T.I.T's were last seen. Legend has it they all turned on one another with the lone survivor Randal turning crazy thinking he's a dung beetle burroughing through water buffalo shit all day. There have been no confirmations to the rumors as none have been seen since that fateful day thanks to Randal.
2 years ago
LMFAO!
2 years ago
LOL.

C - Sorry about that. The congrats go to you. Fine work, and you knew it was Colby.

Forgive, I'm only on 3 hours of sleep for the past 2 days.

UDB - Very good as well, at least I didn't get shot, but we all ended up in the filthy water. Hmmm - a metaphor for Glumbert?
2 years ago
Ok the plot of the story is this:

Here's the story of a lovely Randal,
Who was bringing up three very lovely girls (pick three Canuck, Mako, Bill, Pod, Miter, or Vanker).
All of them had hair of gold, like their mother,
The youngest one in curls.

Here's the story, of a man named Douchebag
Who was busy with three boys of his own (the other 3).
They were four men, living all together,
Yet they were all alone.

Till nam when the lady met this fellow,
And they knew that it was much more than a hunch.
That this group would somehow form a retarded family.
That's the way we all became the TIT bunch
The TIT Bunch, The TIT Bunch.

That's the way we became the TIT Bunch.


Hope this clears it up a bit. If not then,

The moral of the chronicle is that the inequities of man must be overcome by a self-absorbed self-grandeur that preludes the innermost developmental thoughts of the convivial cognitive man. Henceforth, the developing disabilities of our self-loathing for our particular inabilities to express such repressed thoughts in the physical world provide no relief for our desires, so we are left with a cavernous hole that must be fulfilled in a fantasy world. We are able to share our repressed thoughts without truly revealing the persons that we are in the inside. And some more masses of bullshit…….
2 years ago
Hilarious! LOL!

(Red Wings are great)
2 years ago
Hilarious - but UDB, was that last paragraph in your post above actually written by stream?
2 years ago
...continuing the apocalyptic postings, some more oh-so relevant dialogue!

**Because there's a conflict in every human heart between the rational and the irrational, between good and evil... Sometimes the Dark Side overcomes what Lincoln called 'the better angels of our nature.' Therein, man has got a breaking point... Streamlined has reached his. And very obviously, he has gone insane**
2 years ago
UDB..how the hell did you know about my claw hand, and as I read further down the string, about my hair of gold? (goldilocks was my nick name in NAM) Freaking scary dude!

It went a bit differently than you described though...

In 1972, down the Mekong river, at Chou Doc near the Cambodian Border, I was assigned to a PBR (number withheld). We had set up an ambush with Long Range Patrol Army personnel. They went out about 300 yards and set up an ambush. The NVA got between us (not knowing we were there) and waited for the heavies to come by. When they did, they shot right through us, (until then we didn't know they were there either). To our surprise the heavies (troop transports) didn't know we were there either. When the NVA attacked the transports, the transports fired back through us! We unloaded on the NVA too, killing one officer and 6 regulars. Then the army opened up on the NVA with M-60's and mortars! It was a four way fire fight with us in the PBR, and the NVA in the middle. I was the only one on that PBR wounded (in the hand, stupidly giving the finger to the NVA) blowing two fingers clean off, (not the middle one, so I can still flip the bird) with the boat receiving 152 bullet holes. But I swear I NEVER GOT OUT OF THE BOAT! I manned the Browning .50 cal (not an outboard LOL) and we DID make it back without sinking....there are some things I'd just rather forget.
2 years ago
Oh and oddly enough, to this day "I love the smell of napalm in the morning"
2 years ago
Canuck.
Very well thought out I,m glad your back to kicking ass mode..LOL and Pod your welcome I put so much effort in to taking credit for Canucks workLOLOLOL!

UDB!!
I laughed so hard,, one of my eyes fell out !!! You fucking bastard!,! I'm still laughing!!

Miter! your a gold mine of life experiences. I thank you for sharing.
Real glad I get to read your posts,And watch your footage of the wildlife you have posted on another site.
2 years ago
Thanks randal..you like the wildlife vids? Then you'll like this too..another vid I just made near my northern (lower) Michigan property...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=uGHf1dj_uHo

(this is my stuff too, it's my "G" rated youtube "portal") no guns, bombs or fun stuff like that LOl!
2 years ago
Nice vid Miter - love salmon fishing and find it very poignant watching these fish that have travelled so far, wondering what they've seen at sea, how fantastic they find their way back, the drive it taks to get them up river.

Incredible

Have only fished atlantic salmon and sea trout so haven't seen the wholesale die-off that happens with the fish in your neck of the woods
2 years ago
I was at a wedding several years ago and told a guy (that I knew through his wife) to ask the waitress at dinner for some bearded clam sauce. He innocently did. We were rolling. It was the fact that he had no idea of course that made it hilarious (long story how me got to that point). Juvenile? Yes!!! I hope I never grow fat and old and will always laugh at that kind of crap.
2 years ago
Fellow I know was intent on opening a bar called "The Bearded Clam". Funny thing was, city council wasn't so big on the idea. He finally gave up and called it " The Liquid Kitty Lounge". Guess they didn't figure that one out.
2 years ago
And yes Throb, no matter what you do, you will get fat and old. If you discover a way to reverse the aging process, let us know.
2 years ago
Old I'll concede billy; fat is somewhat more controllable.
2 years ago
True.
2 years ago
Indeed valid points... Whilst fat is certainly controllable so too are the old.

Low voltage tazers work wonders and keeping them on a short harness also helps significantly in preventing them wandering off or jumping up at strangers...oh shit, sorry, its dogs I was talking about not the elderly

Old people are great, especially when they like bungee jumping
2 years ago
Old and fat! I'm so sad.:(
2 years ago
When the Zombie Invasion occurs, you'll wish there'd be more old fat people around...zombies go after them first.
2 years ago
Been slapped by girls more than once in college...but, none so hard as when I asked a young co-ed at a little kneipe if I could push in her stool.
2 years ago
...and to think Streamy, you're a teacher... You should probably be arrested for these confessions
2 years ago
Never heard that expression before Stream. Does that mean anal?!!!

Did you try the one in college about, "I bet you a buck I can make your boobs move without touching them".?
2 years ago
Since this video is kinda boring, and there are no new ones in sight. I will pose this interesting and somewhat provocative question. Please give your best guess as to when the last human will become extinct on Earth.

I bet not a single human will remain after another 12,000 years, even if they are surviving elsewhere.
2 years ago
What's the wager? And how must my ancestors collect if won?:)
2 years ago
Or, are they ancestors? future relatives ?
2 years ago
Hmmm - The wager? You are the gambling type.

I'm kinda sleepy right now, but I would guess that the last ancestor becomes equal in power to the Great Squirrel.
2 years ago
Oh Pod, you are wise!:)
2 years ago
The sun has roughly 5 billion years left in her before she starts burning helium and goes into it's red giant phase, so the clock is ticking no matter what. The average interval between "dinosaur killer" (70% of earths species extinct, 95% of land animals) asteroids hitting earth is in the, once in 100 million year range and we're over half the way through since the last one, (65 million years ago, remember those dinosaurs) so between tonight and 35 million years from now, humans will be erased from this planet. We'll get a preview on Halloween night 2041 when the asteroid 2006 XG1 gives us a show, possibly hitting earth, but a miss would have it dipping under our satellites! That's the way I think humans will become extinct on earth, it would take something that big. There are other "cosmic" catastrophes that would take us out, but this is the most likely.

My best guess, in about 25 million years, we'll be extinct on this planet, but not extinct!
2 years ago
But Miter, the dinosaurs are not even extinct yet. Stream is STILL here. Well at least for the next 6000 years or so. Gosh I'm funny, and kinda drunk at this moment. TA.
2 years ago
Miter - You are quite the optimist. Apophis may or may not hit, but another will will be by eventually. I would put human survival on Earth at 100,000 years at the most.

Even with our technology, and maybe because of it, I hope we can stop killing each other over our various beliefs, and Gods long enough to get off the planet before it is destroyed.

Actually, there need not be a asteroid to make humans extinct. It is theorized that if enough carbon is absorbed into the oceans, a chemical reaction will smother all life on earth, and it is also known that if the oceans become too warm the methane will boil out, and extinguish all life.

And lets not forget a WWIII like event, that the religious are praying for. It is very likely that we will destroy all life deliberately just to please their Gods.

Then there is the overpopulation problem that makes the emergence of a organism that can use us for their purpose.

Humanity lives on a knifes edge, and dances on that edge in ignorance.
2 years ago
Like it Podman, i've read about the carbon overload theory

You didn't mention global warming, also Oil reserves peaked in 2006, so it's offical supply can not compete with demand, a recent report predicts more wars due to fossil fuel shortages

then there's Synthetic biology which people predict could destroy us!!

i reckon man will be here until the end of the earth but hanging in there by the skin of there teeth

mitercut checked out your salmon, pretty sad, like the music
2 years ago
Skid - Yes, global warming or climate change will bring about regional war, and then perhaps a global conflict as populations begin to starve for food and water resources that will become scarce in a warmer climate.
2 years ago
Nice points guys!

Guess that's why Gore was awarded the Nobel peace prize; a recognition that trying to address the global warming / fossil fuel / climate change issue is probably the single most important way to prevent massive conflict in the future.

I kinda hope (maybe in vain) that human kind WILL come up with alternative energy formats, or even find a way to go forward with nuclear energy in a suitably up-front and honest way....

Sadly it looks like we'll continue to gobble fossil fuels, fight and fuck it up awesomely before finding that way!

Necessity will be the mother of invention.
2 years ago
Yes, It's a good thing Gore never became president as the republicans say, just think of the mess the country would be in now! ;)

Perhaps in the far, far future zero point energy may be harnessed. But other than that there will have to be a plethora of different type used in sensible and efficient ways to achieve parity.

However the problem with this is that there is now very little time for the energy situation to be resolved. Many believe that it is already too late, and considering the bickering over God and Politics it is unlikely to be resolved without the maximum of pain to all creatures on earth.

Organisms rarely become aware that they are in real trouble until all avenues of escape are non-existent, or insuperably difficult to achieve.

This is where we are now. Some of the smart ones are aware just how dire the real situation is, and neither prayer, or political rhetoric will save us.
2 years ago
Rockies!
2 years ago
as long as canuck's dead i dont care.
2 years ago
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ................Red Wings are great..........ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...........ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
2 years ago
You guys are missing the most important thing of this video. Stop it at t-15 seconds. WTF is up with that lady on the left!! Holy Close encounters of the caccoon kind!!
2 years ago
I bet the old woman in the audience shaves her silver muff
2 years ago
the guys waving his paper about so much i think the black chick farted as well as being a stupid pig.
2 years ago
Hey F.O.F.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ..............GO SOX!!!!
2 years ago
I'd like to shave her muff for her
1 year ago
mmm muff!
1 year ago
Hi Yo!!!

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