The cat that should be a dog

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Views:52,462
8 months ago
.
8 months ago
kike
8 months ago
Tres
8 months ago
OK first then
8 months ago
SECOND!
8 months ago
and that is a smart freaking cat!
8 months ago
Jehosaphat the mongrel cat
Jumped off the roof today.
Some would say he fell but I could tell
He did himself away.
His eyes weren't bright like they were the night
We played checkers on the train.
God Bless his soul he was a tootsie roll,,
But he's a dead cat just the same!!
8 months ago
* wipes a tear *

how sad...




All hail Technoviking!
8 months ago
Well if my cat attempted that
We'd surely feel a pinch
For well we know that he would go
A mile if giv'n an inch.

So we keep closed the doors he's nosed
To gain access without.
No roof he'll see, nor bush nor tree.
He's a homebound kit, no doubt.
8 months ago
Truly said, our cat'd be dead
If he made it to the road.
He is dumb as a box of granite rocks;
Knows not his tail from his head.

Home he'll stay, if we have our way,
Our family's feline friend.
We'll feed him well and help him tell
His front from the other end.
8 months ago
The pathetic part is, the cat is smarter than that dumb bitch..."Should we do the same one over and over again?"...
8 months ago
Chick looks like cherie blair.
8 months ago
according to the poem posted earlier the cat "played checkers on the train".
i don't believe it. if cats are so smart why can't they be taught to attack and kill people...like dogs.
8 months ago
Clever idea, chuck...not enough dogs to handle the job?

If felines kill like canines will
Much nicer life would be,
The backyards filled
With people killed;
Of course, not you nor me.

So you're the one
Who's will be done
Animalistically.
Oh, by the way,
My Cougar's at bay,
Temporarily.

Should it be that your pup
Might even show up
An issue might then ensue:
I don't eat dog
But my kit's such a hog;
There's a chance it'll be chuckdoggy stew.
8 months ago
There once was this cat from Nepal.
It had a triangle shaped ball!
The square of his weight,his pecker 8 is his phone #!! give em a call.
8 months ago
Spring has sprung,and the grass has ris...I wonder where that kitty is!?
7 months ago
Fall has fell, the leaves as well, and by the way, the cat is swell.
8 months ago
i think she was feeding the cat her husbands balls
7 months ago
I had a cat, thought it was a duck,
No-one really gives a fuck.
7 months ago
Hey, is that Cherie Blair tormenting that cat?
7 months ago
there was a young cat from the sticks
with fistulous balls and two pricks
when it went for a shit
that spectacular kit
made the populace thoroughly sick
7 months ago
If I wanted a cat that could do tricks, I'd buy a dog.....(sooo, just a joke, cuz I would have a Black Labradour right now if I had the space and time....and he would be named after the one I had as a child...get ready to laugh, and laugh, and laugh,...............and laugh,.....at 5 years old I named him Candy......after black licorice......really dumb, I know).
7 months ago
I once had a kitten named Fred
With a tumor that grew on his head;
His ass it was blue,
His genitals too,
So I fucked him until he was dead.
7 months ago
Rizamoon and her dog went to bed,
Read a book, ate some honey and bread.
They then drank some whiskey
And whenRiza got frisky,
She gave the mutt excellent head.
7 months ago
I actually enjoyed that ditty....even though you be a (n alias) kitty:-)
7 months ago
Canuck had a pedigree hound
Which he got from the Calgary pound,
When the critter got older
The bastard! - he sold her
To Walmart, then went underground.
7 months ago
I once had a dog named Red.
Thought he would be good in bed.
All he did though..........
Was snore and shit and shed
so decided it was a man I should bed.
When faced with the same
though I be shamed
I returned to the dog instead.
7 months ago
If your girlfriend is giving you grief,
This act it will give some relief,
Stick your ass on her tits
And give it the squits,
With purpose and strong self belief.
7 months ago
What a tangled web we weave
When we practise to deceive,
Alias here, alias there
Glumbert posters in despair!

Come back Canuck, Adolf too,
All the guys are missing you.
Just a lot of posers now
Boring bastards, holy cow!
7 months ago
I still be me
among the rot
nothing new
but nothing lost
I agree tho'
imposter ya be thou
My lil gang be no more
alone I be now
7 months ago
well.......that's a little harsh, doncha think? Randal is a regular poster, and and above average contributor. He got the limerick-like stuff rolling here, and maybe the following posters might not have contributed at his quality level, but I find it fairly amusing anyway.

As to stupid references to animal sex...well...I mean, you REALLY got to be bored to post stuff like that. Get a life, I suggest...like, even, watch TV instead of Glumbert once in a while.
7 months ago
I hope you all have the right's to your poetic diction, 'cause the rappers are stealing em right now!
7 months ago
Mr Bolters
That is definitely tony blairs wife....she will probably end up like that other animal tormenter steve irmin
7 months ago
I just had myself a hell of a laugh, all the way down the page! You guys are awesome! I wish I were that creative! Let me give it a try.

T his feline
H ere that
E veryone sees

C ranks out
A
T reat, for you and me.

T ricks that most cats
H ate to do
A re clearly
T here, for me and you.

S he begs and pleads, offers snacks.
H e rolls
O ver, then comes back.
U ntil the world
L ooks at this show,
D ogs will rule, this I know.

B efore I go let me say, the rule should be changed to,
E very cat has his day.

A nd so I submit my feeble try, at

D oing what I so admired from you guys.
O ver and out, hope it flies. Best to all of you and,
G ive me high five!
7 months ago
LOL! And thats no jive!:)
7 months ago
Here kitty, kitty, kitty......I have a treat for you kitty......I nominate freetobe1962 for a Scooby Snack....ah, heck give three.
7 months ago
riza......thanks for your posting....loved it.......
7 months ago
...oooo sheeeeeeeeeeeit....meant "freetobe1962"....hate when that happens.
7 months ago
Cooooooool! :-)
7 months ago
Give me A high five, unless high five is some new STD you get from inter-species sex with our feline friends?
7 months ago
Probably only took 5 or 6 years to teach the animal that...
and that does look Ms Blair.
Bedazzled, don't worry. Go for it
7 months ago
thats not a big deal. my dog is so much cooler and can do so much more. and the best part is, HE IS A DOG!!!!!!!!
7 months ago
First time I've ever been "nominated" for anything. Even if it's only a Scooby Snack, it feels pretty good.
7 months ago
OK, just to get away from cats, who else owns a dog and what (out of the ordinary) cool thing can the k9 do? I cant beleive the amount of cat videos on glumbert, this is getting to be to much.
7 months ago
y'know why, miter? because dogs do intelligent stuff everyday.....everyone expects smart stuff from them and they take little note when it happens. Cats, on the other hand, are to stupendously stupid, so irretrievably disinterested, so blindly instinctive...well, when they do anything at all a bit apart from cold, brainless, and inane activity, they are seen as spectacular.

Of course, tomorrow there will be hostile postings from the cat crowd. I need to say I have both here at home, and have for some years. My comments arise from close observation of both the animals (and their owners). Sorry....dogs rule, cats are behind snails on the trainable scale. But on the cuteness scale, well......furry beat slime everytime.
7 months ago
I agree with you guys. Dogs train pretty easily, show their devotion freely, and want to please. Plus they're really smart. For myself, always been more of a dog person than a cat person. But I also think, when we do see a cat the actually listens to a command, any command, it's pretty remarkable. I've never seen it happen before! Cats in general do not thrill me, but I thought this particular one was pretty exceptional. He looks like a real sweetheart, and pretty smart, for a cat.
mitercut, none of the dogs I've ever had did anything too out of the ordinary, just your basic doggy stuff. But my brother had a dog, years ago, that would "drop dead" when he pointed his finger at her and shouted "BANG". It was a riot.
7 months ago
chaz, that's an angle I didn't consider, and you're right. I have and have had, many cats and dogs and can relate. My personal "pet peeve" is cats don't belong indoors....or any animal that relieves itself indoors, in a box, flinging litter all over, getting all that grossness on it's paws, then walks all over the counters, beds, couch, chairs, dinning room table etc. Chews up the plants and pukes it up all over the place, then doesn't eat it back up!

freetobe..sounds like a cool dog, I had a dog when I was a kid that knew cus words, he would growl and bare his teeth when you cussed at it..thinking it was the "tone" of voice we would swear at it nice and sweet "oh what a nice little stupid shithead dog" he still growled and showed us his teeth...my current German shepherd is an amazing tracker, the nose on that dog is unreal! We just give him a "sniff" of something and command, SEARCH... no matter where it is he finds it! This would not be remarkable for a dog though, just amazing to watch!
7 months ago
Always gets me teary!

He danced for those at minstrel shows and county fairs
throughout the south
He spoke through tears of 15 years how his dog and him
traveled about
The dog up and died, he up and died
And after 20 years he still grieves
7 months ago
miter...my Bichon has an incredible nose...in-freaking-credible. He tends to get frenetic when played with, as in dashing to and fro, chasing whatever one might toss in his direction...and when we tire from the game, and want to calm him down, we "hide" the toy (could be a ball, or a "chewy", or anything that can be tossed)... and that little guy will wander around, locate the area we've hidden it, and go into a routine that includes standing on his hind legs and "begging", laying down and staring at the hiding place, or loudly sniffing and shifting his gaze between me and the hiding place. We finally figured out that the toy had to be put in the refrigerator, since he'd find it just about everywhere else.

On the other hand, if we don't put the cat food in the same place every day, I think our cuddly, long haired black kitty might actually starve to death.

As for indoor/outdoor cats....I vote for indoor (we've got one of those self cleaning litter boxes that makes life a bit easier). Where I live, we have coyotes...cats are like "Big Macs" to them. Plus, having had outdoor types before, I recall bunches of unpleasant experiences (birds, moles, mice...presented as gifts to us at the back door, screeching mating events, and two "rescue" missions to return this stupid species to earth after having climbed (#1) a tree, and (*#2) a telephone pole (that last one left ugly scratches on my chest) and so on.

FTB.... yeah, I've seen that "drop dead" thing too...can't remember exactly which of my past friends did it, but it was really a hoot. Can't recall much else he did, but that WAS a show-stopper.
7 months ago
chaz - had to smile about your Bichon, he must have tons of personality. And your black kitty, who would starve unless the food was in the same spot! Too funny. Do you think it's possible your "past friend" was my brother? LOL!
You have a kitty, and a dog. I always think it's amazing when a cat and a dog get along together, and become friends. Do they like each other, and accept each other?
From past experience, I guess I would have to agree with the indoor cat, although miter has a good point about sanitation, with walking all over the house after using the box. But, the outside cat has it's problems too. I had a cat, one time, and it was crazy for going outside. Spent most of his time outside, summer and winter. But, he was constantly getting into fights with other neighborhood cats, and it would cause infections. I had him at the vet every other week. An ordeal, to say the least. Lancing the wounds, giving him antibiotics one after the other. And even, a few times, bringing wounded baby rabbits and mice into the house. They weren't even dead, he was just playing with them. And one memorable occasion when I had to call the fire department, who used their ladder truck to get him down out of a tree he had been in for two days. Crying the whole time and bothering the neighbors. I think if I ever did have another cat, I would keep him/her inside. But since I don't really want a litter box to deal with, I'll probably just admire other people's cats for the time being!
7 months ago
FTB...I've had the both together for years (not the current cat and dog, but their predecessors as well)...and it has always been the same. The dog taunts, and wants to play, and the cat abides (or runs out of patience and hisses and sort of claws at the pup...but Bichons are very quick and rarely will get scratched). It's fun. The pup is too loveable, and the kit is, well, like a warm rag that likes being draped over your arm. Not too bad, after all.
7 months ago
you the cat! wtf
7 months ago
I had a goat, but someone named Benny Lava ate it!!
7 months ago
hey goldbar - fuck off you moron!
7 months ago
FOL
7 months ago
i think the cat is wearing a shock collar
7 months ago
FOL
7 months ago
ROFL KEKEKEKEKEEKEKE heheh SO KEWT GOOOOOOOOD BOOOOOOOI
7 months ago
omg that woman...i want to punch her in the chesticles - her voice is so annoying!!!!!!!!!!!
7 months ago
Got a big black dog
Whose name is Dan
Lives in my backyard in Birmingham
He is the meanest dog in Alabam'
Go Get 'em Dan
7 months ago
that cats a lot smarter then my dog ever was, ummm a lot smarter then my ex to.
6 months ago
And I thought cats were worthless......
6 months ago
THATS CAT IS THE COOLEST. Of course my cats are better. they can be cats! ISNT THAT AWSOME! LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL !

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